October 2025

1st
7:25pm - HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH <@:3 7:35pm -Now I think that if I were to die it would probably be because of a neck crack lol....or because of the declining state of my body. I look at myself and say "wow where are my muscles", I am pale and I get dizzy easily. I am getting a twitch in my eye, my mother says I am lacking vitamins.

1st

7:25pm - HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH <@:3

7:35pm -Now I think that if I were to die it would probably be because of a neck crack lol....or because of the declining state of my body. I look at myself and say "wow where are my muscles", I am pale and I get dizzy easily. I am getting a twitch in my eye, my mother says I am lacking vitamins.

2nd
1:43am - Directly sexual or double meaning humor bothers me. It annoys me when you use it in every sentence you say. Why do you not shut the fuck up for a while?..I am not a porn addict or freak, but I see consensual sex as something rebellious and fun but also feels private and not something i could share with anyone in "humor"(?). Still, why has it become the humor of so many young people? Haha pp and boobs!!!How funny!! it is the pinnacle of comedy. I am not bitter, sometimes it is funny, but pls understand me LOL. Have you seen those idiots at school? Their jokes rely on mocking gay people and crude sexual themes. It makes me want to lose my temper. 8:36pm - Some people forget the "Block" button exists. Do what i do! When im tired of people i block them. Youre messing with me? block. Youre rude at me? block. Youre trying to harass me? block!........Ok maybe this sounds stupid, yall should block me.

2nd

1:43am - Directly sexual or double meaning humor bothers me. It annoys me when you use it in every sentence you say. Why do you not shut the fuck up for a while?..I am not a porn addict or freak, but I see consensual sex as something rebellious and fun but also feels private and not something i could share with anyone in "humor"(?). Still, why has it become the humor of so many young people? Haha pp and boobs!!!How funny!! it is the pinnacle of comedy. I am not bitter, sometimes it is funny, but pls understand me LOL. Have you seen those idiots at school? Their jokes rely on mocking gay people and crude sexual themes. It makes me want to lose my temper.

8:36pm - Some people forget the "Block" button exists. Do what i do! When im tired of people i block them. Youre messing with me? block. Youre rude at me? block. Youre trying to harass me? block!........Ok maybe this sounds stupid, yall should block me.

4th
7:12pm - Sometimes I feel a strong urge to be rude to people for no reason. I dont do it because I am not like that, but I just want to tell that idiot to stop messaging me if they knows I have been ignoring them for weeks. Shut your damn mouth. Anyway, I am not rude. 7:19pm -Ive been dreaming a lot about girls, about that they want me or we just end up kissing.

4th

7:12pm - Sometimes I feel a strong urge to be rude to people for no reason. I dont do it because I am not like that, but I just want to tell that idiot to stop messaging me if they knows I have been ignoring them for weeks. Shut your damn mouth. Anyway, I am not rude.

7:19pm -Ive been dreaming a lot about girls, about that they want me or we just end up kissing.

6th
10:32pm - Have yall ever felt in love for no reason? Like, I feel like I could be in love, but I dont have a specific crush. Or on the contrary, you like several. Sometimes I fantasize about hanging out with people who, for example, friends of friends of friends... They are not even in conection(? with me, but I like to fantasize that by fate we end up together. How depressing omfg.

7th
6:31pm -Soon it will be the birthday of someone I stopped talking to, they were a bitch. I just hope I do not come across anything related to them on social media. 7:51pm -I like this person who seems kind of problematic. They are very weird, rude, and pessimistic, they listen to terrible music and throw hateful hints at everyone. I suspect they might also be racist, but they are not very good at it. I think they hate me too; I probably seem too generic for their underground personality. How stupid. But I like to imagine them as my partner, arguing over dumb things but still sharing their thoughts and fetishes with me, having that -I can fix them trope-. LMFAO ok I have no idea what I am writing it is just that I feel so curious about this person, but I also really dislike them...Ill forget it in a couple of days. I have to admit that when they like something I share, makes me feel proud.

7th

6:31pm -Soon it will be the birthday of someone I stopped talking to, they were a bitch. I just hope I do not come across anything related to them on social media.

7:51pm -I like this person who seems kind of problematic. They are very weird, rude, and pessimistic, they listen to terrible music and throw hateful hints at everyone. I suspect they might also be racist, but they are not very good at it. I think they hate me too; I probably seem too generic for their underground personality. How stupid. But I like to imagine them as my partner, arguing over dumb things but still sharing their thoughts and fetishes with me, having that -I can fix them trope-. LMFAO ok I have no idea what I am writing it is just that I feel so curious about this person, but I also really dislike them...Ill forget it in a couple of days. I have to admit that when they like something I share, makes me feel proud.

12th
12:37am -I feel like the worst friend in the world.. Ive ignored several of my friends, and when my patience runs out, I end up replying badly. Its not always like that, I think Ive said it before, I just dont really enjoy chatting. Even though I had a good time today and talked a lot with my friend, I felt some relief because I tend to isolate myself and dont really know why. Its like an addiction to postponing messages or something like that, but I really appreciate those who are patient with me....I talked about the birthday of someone I cant stand a few days ago; she celebrated earlier than I expected, and for some reason, it ruined my day. I dont really care, I just dont know whats going on in my head... its such an irrational hate. Anyway, I should stop talking and thinking about it, it only makes my brain rot. Im such an idiot, even when I try to vent just writing useless thoughts. I should probably delete this page. 12:44am -I did something dumb out of boredom. I might have defended the wrong person, someone who is basically an enemy of one of my friend groups. Okay fine, I admit it, I was just bored and wanted to argue a little. My friends have not said anything about it yet, but I feel like they could because in that group everyone seems to have issues with everyone else. It is like everything is sensitive to them, as if the whole world revolves around their drama. Everyone is so touchy lately. What is going on. That group is falling apart, it feels like you have to be careful with every single thing you say or do. There are groups inside the group and I know it is all going to end badly XD. But honestly I do not even talk much there, so if they kick me out I would not care... 12:51am -I feel like I am acting like myself all the time, as if I do not really know who I am sometimes. I do not even know what I like or dislike anymore, or what makes me happy or sad.. what if im just wanting attention? attention from WHO?? there is nobody lol

12th

12:37am -I feel like the worst friend in the world.. Ive ignored several of my friends, and when my patience runs out, I end up replying badly. Its not always like that, I think Ive said it before, I just dont really enjoy chatting. Even though I had a good time today and talked a lot with my friend, I felt some relief because I tend to isolate myself and dont really know why. Its like an addiction to postponing messages or something like that, but I really appreciate those who are patient with me....I talked about the birthday of someone I cant stand a few days ago; she celebrated earlier than I expected, and for some reason, it ruined my day. I dont really care, I just dont know whats going on in my head... its such an irrational hate. Anyway, I should stop talking and thinking about it, it only makes my brain rot. Im such an idiot, even when I try to vent just writing useless thoughts. I should probably delete this page.

12:44am -I did something dumb out of boredom. I might have defended the wrong person, someone who is basically an enemy of one of my friend groups. Okay fine, I admit it, I was just bored and wanted to argue a little. My friends have not said anything about it yet, but I feel like they could because in that group everyone seems to have issues with everyone else. It is like everything is sensitive to them, as if the whole world revolves around their drama. Everyone is so touchy lately. What is going on. That group is falling apart, it feels like you have to be careful with every single thing you say or do. There are groups inside the group and I know it is all going to end badly XD. But honestly I do not even talk much there, so if they kick me out I would not care...

12:51am -I feel like I am acting like myself all the time, as if I do not really know who I am sometimes. I do not even know what I like or dislike anymore, or what makes me happy or sad.. what if im just wanting attention? attention from WHO?? there is nobody lol

13th
11:08pm - What will I do after the event? The one I am going to in a few days, the one I have been saving for since July. Idk, lately it feels like the only thing keeping me going is that event. I really hope I have a good time, since it is the kind of convention I love to go, but I still feel a bit lost and alone. Alone because no one I care about is going with me, no one really shares my interests, it would be a waste of time for them. I wish I could enjoy that day with someone else, but uhh ok... I have been dissociating a lot lately. Have yall ever felt like that? Waiting for that special day to come, like going to the fair or watching that movie in the theater, but not knowing what you will do after it is over. What will you focus on next? Or maybe I am just being stupid.

13th

11:08pm - What will I do after the event? The one I am going to in a few days, the one I have been saving for since July. Idk, lately it feels like the only thing keeping me going is that event. I really hope I have a good time, since it is the kind of convention I love to go, but I still feel a bit lost and alone. Alone because no one I care about is going with me, no one really shares my interests, it would be a waste of time for them. I wish I could enjoy that day with someone else, but uhh ok... I have been dissociating a lot lately. Have yall ever felt like that? Waiting for that special day to come, like going to the fair or watching that movie in the theater, but not knowing what you will do after it is over. What will you focus on next? Or maybe I am just being stupid.

22th
6:51pm -I should not have taken on problems that were not mine. Well, it was not really something bad, but now I realize I should feel less empathy than I usually do. You made me think that person was bad. I even avoided looking them in the eyes, or supporting them on social media and all that stuff. But now you both are friends again. Should I feel bad? It is not like I matter in this situation, but come on, I could have bought that person so many things, and I did not because of you. Idiot.

22th

6:51pm -I should not have taken on problems that were not mine. Well, it was not really something bad, but now I realize I should feel less empathy than I usually do. You made me think that person was bad. I even avoided looking them in the eyes, or supporting them on social media and all that stuff. But now you both are friends again. Should I feel bad? It is not like I matter in this situation, but come on, I could have bought that person so many things, and I did not because of you. Idiot.

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